The Rules: The road is your lobster

The more avid readers (I assume there are many) may have noticed an occasional reference to ‘Touring Rules’ throughout my summer posts.  Touring is a care free activity.  There are no hard and fast rules and when you tour by yourself, the road is your lobster.  That having been said there are a few handy hints that help along the way. 

Packing eh?  I love to plan what I’m going to pack.  I have even been known to indulge in a little excel madness. Some people focus on weight, some on comfort and most – like me – #62 hit a happy medium. My tent is about half a kg heavier than average but it’s got a massive porch – bonus.  Not everyone takes a chair but I didn’t one year and spent most of my evenings on site dreaming of leaning back.  (Over the past few years I’ve had one of those fold in half things – weighs next to nothing but takes up room.  I’m toying with an upgrade.)  I also take things to do in the evenings.  A kindle is a must and a few talking books.  I take something to make – crocheting or knitting whiles away rainy evenings.  These little luxuries make a tour a holiday.

Camping necessities.  Don’t forget your lighter, invest in a swiss army knife and properly wrap your food.  Don’t camp in a ditch and always know where your torch is. #58 Good camp craft makes for happy campers.  Being too cold is miserable.  Remember that.

#24 Wear sun cream.  You’re out in the sun all day but wind chill makes things deceptive.  I burn to a crisp quickly and gave up on the tan years ago.  Now I just slather on the factor 50 first thing (usually in the wash block looking in the mirror in the hope I'll get my back done properly for once) and top it up every time I stop.  Don’t be fooled by an oil spray.  The uneven coverage gave me arms like bubble wrap. 

Along the same line, you'd be amazed (and happily surprised) how much food and water it takes to fuel a tour so, rule #47 Eat, drink and cycle on your merry way.  I don't have much of an appetite when I'm on the go but the effects of not eating enough are easy enough to spot.  Everything is just so hard, so depressing, your legs just won't work.  You're never going to make it...its bonking, the cyclists curse.  Have that handy chocolate bar (porridge bars are my favourite but in short supply outside of Scotland) and some cordial then stop at the next café and fuel up.  The well documented relationship between cyclists and cakes is built on pure necessity.

Two must haves for any tourist:

#36 Baby wipes.  As parents must know, these things are little moist wonders.  You can use them to clean that damn sun cream off your hands.  You can freshen up before you hit that lunch time café.  You can utilise them when loo roll is hard to find and, most conveniently, they are brilliant for cleaning your bike.  Never leave home without them.  And  #37 duct tape.  Who can forget duct tape?  Top tip: don’t forget duct tape.  In Budapest I was able to get my bike on the train thanks to duct tape.  In Southampton it saved my tour.  It fixes everything and does anything (probably).

#93 Don’t succumb to gear buffs.  Yes, yes, its all very nice that your bike is carbon fibre plexiglass with go faster stripes but, my bike needs to be a bit more, shall we say ‘sturdy’ than that.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that such cycling snobs only exist at the roadie/fixie end of the market.  Tourists can be just as bad.  I wear padded short cause they are comfy, and honestly cause they mark me out as a cyclist rather than a sweaty weirdo when I’m wandering around a hypermarche.  But I wear vests and t-shirts rather than jerseys.  I clip in cause its far more efficient (apart from in mud slides when it’s not at all efficient, but nothing much is) but I didn’t for years and it didn’t make my holidays any the worse. I don’t know the spec of my bike off the top of my head – although I have it written down somewhere – because day to day it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter that you’re not a mechanic but, there are two things that will really stop you in your tracks: punctures and broken chains.  It follows that it does matter that you can fix them (and, to be frank, it’s not hard.) So, #84 Take a basic tool kit and know how to use it.  But, if you’re in a total jam, there’s usually someone around who can help. 

#2 On the whole, people are honest and good.  Amazing as it may seem to those in the UK, people in France love a cyclist.  Really.  They like to chat and shout encouragement as you cycle up that blinking hill.  I’ve said before, in France your average cycle tourist turns into a minor celebrity.  Add to that the woman alone syndrome and people do feel the need to make sure you’re OK.  I’ve been fed and watered, invited into homes and generally looked after.  In Scotland someone dried my top for me and gave me a much needed hot drink.  In Normandy I got given a caravan to sleep in as it was raining so much.   In terms of personal safety the best advice is don’t be daft but, that’s a rule for life, not just touring. 

Finally, #1 relax: it’s a holiday.  If you have to change routes, change plans, hop on a train, see just one more museum, it’s all ok.  It’s your tour so you choose what to do.  Don’t be fooled by the statistically hungry bloke who makes you feel like you didn’t know enough, or the overly relaxed dude without a map.  I read forums and feel guilty that I take too much, or cycle too slow or not far enough but, a bit of digging shows that the kilo counters and mile munchers are few and far between.  Do it your way.

 

tour saving #37 duct tape

#47 Eat, drink and cycle on your merry way.

#58 Good camp craft makes for happy campers

 

The many uses of #36 Baby wipes: beastie removal